Saturday, September 08, 2007
Nate the Snake
You are aware, I'm sure, of Nate the Snake. Your not? Well Nate the Snake is infact the greatest hero of all time. Movie Star, role model, Idol, all around super guy, one heck of a dancer, and he's a snake. He's the greatest thing since... I don't know what. Anyway, this is his story... well technically its the story of Steve and Jed. Steve and Jed were Nate's biggest fans. Everything they did was based on a simple philosophy: What Would Nate Do? To say they worshipped Nate would be an understatement. To make a long story short, and for the sake of time, we will just say- no one loved Nate more than Steve and Jed.
As often happens, Steve and Jed were out for leisurely drive through the desert. As you very well know, in the desert there is a rather large lever in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary lever. This lever, if switched will utterly and completely destroy the entire planet. It just so happened on this drive through the desert that Steve and Jed were approaching the lever at an incredible rate of speed. There are signs to warn about the lever of course, so Steve and Jed were perfectly safe. However, as Steve tried to slow the truck down the brakes went out. As they neared the lever they saw something ahead in the road. It was Nate. They swerved right to avoid Nate but then they were headed for the lever. They swerved to avoid the lever but there was Nate.
Oh they were in it bad. On the one hand they didn't want to flip the switch and destroy the world. On the other hand, they just couldn't run over Nate the Snake and kill the biggest star in the world, their idol, their hero. Back and forth they swerved... Lever...Nate...back to Lever. Finally the time had come and Steve had to make a choice. He cranked the wheel to the left and world was safe. Through their tears, Steve and Jed agreed: it was Better Nate than Lever.